So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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