He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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