you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
