I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
