I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
