FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
