is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize