Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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