Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
