Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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