Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
