Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
