Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize