Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..