Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.