I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize