bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
