I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
