My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
40s are totally the cure
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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