I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Your dad touched me again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize