Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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