I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
