A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
