well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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