Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
