A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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