She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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