just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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