someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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