haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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