Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
