This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
