u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
