I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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