why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
