You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
