i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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