One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
