There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
