just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
