Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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