Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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