HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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