Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
