The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize