Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
