Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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