i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize