I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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