I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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