My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
