do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
