i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
