Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
