did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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