I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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