Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
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She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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