My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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