Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
