Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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